Second Act Success Career Podcast
Season 1 - ​​Beverly Hills Lawyer Finds 52 Weeks of Hope For Her Second Act- Lauren Abrams | #84
Episode - #84
Host: Shannon Russell
Guest: Lauren Abrams
Transcription (*created by Descript and may not be perfectly accurate)

[00:00:25] Lauren Abrams: I went through my dark night of the soul.

Everyone goes through them. Nobody gets through this life unscathed. And when I got through it, I thought, I'm just gonna go and ask an older demographic, that question, why are we here? What have you gleaned from living life? They say nobody on their deathbed ever wished they made more money or worked harder. So tell me, what have you learned? I started going and interviewing a person a week, and people would reveal really personal information to me, and it was. Incredible.

After two and a half months I realized there were really common themes and I was like, this is so good. I'm gonna write this up. And I'll call it 52 [00:01:00] Weeks of Hope.

[00:01:00] Shannon Russell: Hey, you. Are you feeling stuck, desperate for a career change or thinking of starting a business but you're just not sure how to make your first move? I'm television producer, turn Career coach Shannon Russell, and this is the second Act Success Career podcast. This is where you will not only get the career advice you've been craving, but you'll get tips from career and business experts along with inspiration from others who have made a career transition to find second act success.

Let's get started. What would you say if I told you there are 52 weeks of hope in front of you? My guest today is Lauren Abrams. She is a successful Beverly Hills attorney. Lauren realized that you can look like you have it all on the outside and not feel like you do on the inside. Lauren began asking people all over the question of what is hope to them.

Lauren wrote How To Be Your Best Self right Now, and she hosts the 52 [00:02:00] Weeks of Hope podcast. She is here to talk about her journey from law into creating hope for others. I can't wait to introduce you to my friend Lauren Abrams. Lauren Abrams, welcome to Second Act Success. How are you?

[00:02:15] Lauren Abrams: Thanks. I'm great, Shannon. I'm so happy to be here.

[00:02:18] Shannon Russell: I'm so happy to see you again. I was just a guest on your amazing podcast we had such a great conversation. We

[00:02:24] Lauren Abrams: did, and I've gotten really great response to your episode. It's a really good episode. I'm looking at what number it is so that people can tune in,

[00:02:35] Shannon Russell: I'll link to that in our show notes as well, so people can Perfect. Go back and listen to that one. Okay. So let's start talking about your career. You've been a lawyer in Beverly Hills for over 20 years, did you always wanna practice law?

[00:02:48] Lauren Abrams: Oh my gosh, no. I was at U C L A, I got into SC Law School. I was always gonna go and get my master's from Annenburg School. Communication. So when I get into SC Law School too, I was like, [00:03:00] okay. Once I was in my second year of law school, I started going at night for my masters and I never thought I'd be practicing law.

In fact, I wanted to go for my doctorate. And my husband at that time, he was like paycheck once I graduated law school and I got my master. So much debt by that point. You just need start paying it off. Yeah, I was, I went to UCLA on scholarship foot. The private school SC is where I could anyway,

everything unfolds the way it's supposed to. It just always does. And I had been at the DA and doing different trials and things like that, but once I got sworn in as a lawyer, I couldn't do that anymore. It was a certain program I was in, and so I was just running around doing trials for anyone I could so I got a couple of cases. I was just like this go-getter. And I'd go to the law library and I started doing employment law. People have been discriminated against and things just unfolded. Somebody said, go look at this court file, and I didn't even know what a court file was downtown.

It's a mess, but there's a trial coming up. It was this [00:04:00] huge case. I had no idea. And I'd settled for hundreds of thousands of dollars, and they kept trying to settle it. I'm like, no, it's a trial. And anyway, I was just trying to be a good advocate for my client.

With that money, I ended up opening my office in Beverly Hills. Wow. a

[00:04:15] Shannon Russell: true go-getter. Right. Let me just go bigg. Let me open my own law pro law

[00:04:19] Lauren Abrams: office.

Yeah. That that's really, I started out like sitting on floors, and I had lots of mentors and people who helped me and I just loved it. I've always felt like I'm helping people and very picky about the cases I take. Once I became a mom, I started hiring other attorneys cuz I wanted to be with my kids and, and as things went along, yeah, it.

It's just my practice grew. It's, I've never not had clients.

[00:04:41] Shannon Russell: I love the kind of law that you do too. It's employee law,

[00:04:44] Lauren Abrams: people who have been wrongfully terminated, discriminated against lots of pregnancy cases.

Always women who aren't allowed back after they've been on maternity leave, or they say that once they finally say, I'm pregnant and stuff, they get terminated. I've always had those cases.

[00:04:59] Shannon Russell: Not to get [00:05:00] all into the legal system of Los Angeles, but being a television producer myself, a lot of the industry is freelance based and gig based.

So I wonder if you've had any experience with that? Because for me, yeah, they're screwed. They're screwed. My show got canceled on my second maternity leave, and it was, okay, well there's no show to come back to, so it was on me. To go and find my next job. And you know what? I didn't, I ended up starting a business and so that was my second act started, but Right.

I always wonder about that because that's gotta be a really tricky situation, you have no leg to stand on when you're freelance.

[00:05:35] Lauren Abrams: Nope, you don't. All these different professions went through my head in a nanosecond. I thought of 300 professions, like right photographers. This is like all kinds of people. Yeah,

[00:05:44] Shannon Russell: it's a majority. I feel like it's a majority in Los Angeles of all cities, but wow, what a great profession.

And so tell me how you've started pivoting and you're still a lawyer, but that you got this idea to start a podcast about 52 Weeks of Hope. [00:06:00] And what led you. Into that second

[00:06:03] Lauren Abrams: act, if you will. Oh yeah. It's definitely a second act I went through my dark night of the soul.

Everyone goes through them. Nobody gets through this life unscathed. And when I got through it, I was like, what the hell was that? Because I'm always so grateful and it just really threw me for such a loop. And the only way through is through. So when I got through it, I was like, why are we here?

I don't understand. And I thought, I'm just gonna go and ask an older demographic, that question, why are we here? What have you gleaned from living life? They say nobody on their deathbed ever wished they made more money or worked harder. So tell me, what have you learned? And I thought, I'm gonna interview a personal week for a year for me.

Just for me, it was my project, my diy. I'm not a DIYer, but that's as close as I would get. DIYing. And so I did, I started going and interviewing a person a week, and people would reveal really personal information to me, and it was. Incredible. And I would go home and I would write it up.

I [00:07:00] love writing and I would send some of 'em to my best friend in my own verbiage. And after two and a half months I realized there were really common themes and I was like, this is so good. I'm gonna write this up. I'll write one of those books where you open it up and you're like, that's just what I needed to hear.

Or you close it and open it again. You're like, no, that's just what I needed to hear. And I'll call it 52 Weeks of Hope. then the pandemic happened. So I started podcasting and then suddenly I wasn't confined to LA. I could interview people from anywhere and it's just had a life of its own. it's just been amazing. And now I'm doing these confidence and clarity boost sessions where I'm really helping people hone in you and I are Doing a lot we're we get to help people. Yeah. So I think that's why your episode is so good when you talk about how you get to help people and how you went through your process and story.

Mm-hmm.

[00:07:52] Shannon Russell: We can learn so much from each other's stories. Yeah. And it makes you feel like you're not so alone. Yeah. Because you're right, we've all had these dark moments [00:08:00] that we question, and it could be whether we're a parent, not a parent, at different stages, you don't know what it's gonna hit you, but then you just say, what is it all for?

Okay, let me get back to what my purpose is. Your project really did that.

[00:08:14] Lauren Abrams: I mean it was amazing cuz I'm always so grateful and this and that, so it just really struck me. I'm a single mom. I'm with two kids, so for me to have gone through that, I was like, wait, I'm not like this but yeah, clearly I am.

[00:08:27] Shannon Russell: You know what, there was something on your website that I saw that I thought was interesting is that you said that people would look at you or you were afraid. People were gonna say, what do you have to be depressed about or upset about? And I think that's unfortunate that you can look at someone who looks like they have it all together and not understand that there's so much more behind that.

It's

[00:08:47] Lauren Abrams: so true. There was one attorney who worked with me for a long time and he always thought, Ugh. Beverly Hills lawyer, everything's been handed to her on a silver platter, blah, blah, blah, blah. Having no idea my story. See, [00:09:00] and that's how we connect with each other, is through our stories.

He has no idea that years ago, it's now been decades. I used to be on the streets, I was strung out, and it was only in that moment of grace when I called for help. There's no way I would still be here if it wasn't for that. And I ended up in rehab and I found out, oh, there's a way to get help.

And slowly built to life very slowly. I'm not one of these. Ooh. And then after a few years of working and getting a place to live and all of those things, I started going to college. So it's an amazing story that I ended up at U C L A that I ended up at in law school that that's why I say I'm always so grateful.

I never for a second forget where I come from, ever. I can remember being around all these parents thinking, oh my God, I would give anything for any of their lives. I have a single mom. I'm my, I was given full custody of my kids. I'm raising them.

I felt so alone and you're not. You're never alone. You don't have to be , it's a feeling [00:10:00] like you feel alone and, and I can feel alone in a nanosecond. By the way, a few weeks ago I was at something and. Someone was telling a story of a party she threw and this and that, and I went, I have no friends.

Like instantly I thought, I have no friends because I would never have been invited to this party. And she was talking about it and I all of a sudden fell alone. I'm not, I have tons of friends, but Right. But my head will in a second say, you have no friends and all of suddenly feel alone.

I was like, what? Our heads can like. Do these kinds of things so quickly, and it's the awareness and have tools to get out of that quickly

[00:10:36] Shannon Russell: that's a remarkable story. And to see your success shoot up from there and to be this example for your children and then to turn around and say, okay, I want to spread a message of hope to others is so admirable.

Your life was saved at one point. And maybe you are doing the same thing for others. Now by sharing these stories and showing that there is hope in every [00:11:00] week, in every moment, so tell me about some of the.

Stories that you've come across throughout your interviews and kind of some of the people that you've touched upon and interviewed.

[00:11:08] Lauren Abrams: Okay, so one I was just talking about on a episode that I'm putting out this week. She talks about perfectionism and procrastination being the flip side of the same coin.

And I wrestle with this in my head all the time. Her name's Deborah Herwitz. She's a maestro and she was on Broadway and she's now a coach and different things, but she says a lot of people won't. Attempt things because they wanna do it perfectly, which I understand that, but I'm always so happy that I get anything done.

I don't think of myself as a perfectionist, right? I just wanna get it done. But, it has stayed with me. Because I think that's true for a lot of people like perfectionism and for procrastination being a flip side of the same coin.

What? I don't know. I never thought of it,

[00:11:54] Shannon Russell: but I guess I hadn't. But when you explain it about I can't launch this podcast, [00:12:00] I can't l send my book into Right. A publisher until it's perfect. Now that makes sense. In that

[00:12:06] Lauren Abrams: way.

It's like that whole perfectionist thing. I just wanted to get my podcast out. I didn't even listen to podcasts like maybe Brene Brown or Oprah or something, but I just started a podcast.

[00:12:18] Shannon Russell: Hey there, my friend Shannon here. Just popping in quickly because I'm wondering, is this episode getting you thinking?

Are you starting to come up with ideas for your second act? Maybe it's changing careers, writing a book, starting a business, whatever it is. I am here to help. You can book a free discovery call with me so that we can chat about your next steps. So head over to second Act success.co/coaching. Now let's get back to the episode.

Lauren, you started off interviewing people and writing these stories for your book, and then you decided, okay, COVID o's here. I'm not really going anywhere. Let's start a podcast. How did you even learn the steps to take to get

[00:12:59] Lauren Abrams: [00:13:00] there? I asked somebody who knew somebody who had an editor.

I just started recording. I don't know, I just started doing it. I just read research. I have no idea. Maybe it's Depo skills. I always think I, I'm very engaged. You and I have talked about this a whole bunch of, I'm so engaged when I'm talking to somebody.

Yeah, and so present, and I just love it. There's certain things, what fills you with joy. Yeah. You know what you love and that's the thing. It's like I ask certain questions on every episode and it's why I keep wanting to be like, yeah, you so understand. It's like what gets you to take that leap? Well, if you're not doing what fills you up, like life's in session, you know it's, don't think how to do it.

Even if it's just a few steps in the direction of your dream. You wanna live in that joy. So what will it take to get you there? And that's what you do, Shannon, is you help people get there.

[00:13:57] Shannon Russell: You know what? I don't know about you, but when I am. [00:14:00] Recording or even talking to you now, you'll say something and I'm like, oh, a listener needs to hear that.

You just start thinking about what someone on the other side will be listening with their earbuds in and hearing our conversation and getting something from it. And that's what lights me up. I get so excited that our conversation can get someone else to pull the trigger on making their second act and starting and trying that because, but we do get this one life.

[00:14:25] Lauren Abrams: Yeah, it's so true and I now have a confidence and clarity growth scorecard. Which is so fun. So I feel like, oh, I've quantified the personal growth space, but there's little things you can do every day and it's only try each week to do a little bit better than you did the last week.

Maybe one point better. And so that's fun too. So there's that. I feel like I'm learning about all different modalities by interviewing people. By the way, I've learned about EF f t tapping. I'm very conscious of my breath work. I've interviewed so many people that do breath work, so I'm very [00:15:00] conscious that I'm always breathing.

I thought I had learned all the different modalities, and last week I interviewed Family Constellations, therapist. I, yep. See, I saw your reaction. You've never heard of that either? No. And can I tell you, I have now met. Two more people that do this. They're now being brought into my space for whatever reason.

I have no idea. Intrigued. Yeah, it's very interesting. She's French and Goop and Hayhouse are her backers and Wow. I don't wanna butcher her name. She's French. It's Maureen Sene. Maureen Cel. She's, she's beautiful, fabulous, and interesting. And yeah, and it's a whole process and it's easy actually.

You go back just to your grandparents and you take a look and wow, it's just a way to look at maybe some blocks that you have, and I had never even heard of it. I interviewed somebody who sees colors since he's two years old. Some people feel energy. I'm very sensitive.

Mm-hmm. I think a lot of people probably who are listening to either of our episodes are probably empass and [00:16:00] yes sensitive people. But this Dominique Zendek, he sees colors. Like since he's little and he was on TV a lot in the UK and uh, Ooh. It's just he can't do this justice, yeah. I'm getting such an education. It's just, I knowing.

[00:16:18] Shannon Russell: I'd love to know, you said there were a lot of people when you interviewed older people about looking back on their life, what were one or two things that you found A thread that people were saying was something that they

[00:16:29] Lauren Abrams: regretted.

Okay, so the message is, it's like in the blue zones where people live the longest, the healthiest and the happiest. Cuz why do you wanna live a long time if you're not healthy and happy? Right? Um, we need community. We need to be with each other. We need to physically be with each other. And take care of each other.

Community and service, those are really big things, helping each other so they know what's going on with each other. They don't hold things in. Wow. And so being vulnerable, being accountable to each other, [00:17:00] holding things in doesn't help anything. It doesn't build any type of community.

[00:17:06] Shannon Russell: Yep. It's community like you said, and service in the service aspect. Mm-hmm. Is just feeling, again, that brings community and feeling like you're giving back and it's always.

If you do a good deed, something is coming back to you. And

[00:17:20] Lauren Abrams: I don't even think of it as a good deed. It's just this is how you make friends. This is how you get close to someone. And it's stuff that nobody ever talks about. I grew up with, if everything was so secretive and there was nothing really going on in my house, by the way, it's not, oh, there was all this abuse.

You just didn't talk. You didn't talk about anything. You didn't know your neighbors. There was no reason, isn't that funny? Yeah.

[00:17:45] Shannon Russell: I love it. I love that you're getting this information out of the people that you're interviewing. Yeah. You're sharing it now on your podcast and you wrote your book, but you're also getting to probably reach an even broader audience through the podcast, which is great.

[00:17:58] Lauren Abrams: Absolutely. And [00:18:00] we're a resilient species. What people have been through is incredible. So community is the number one. That is the number one thing. I took the first 52 weeks episodes, all the messages I hoping, I compiled them into eight overarching themes. And I called the meaning of life as like, now I know.

And number one is community. We need each other. And number two is love and service. We need to love each other and we need to help each other. So service and one of the top messages is resilience. So we are resilience species, so yes.

[00:18:34] Shannon Russell: Oh, that's fantastic. And I know your, your book is available on your website.

[00:18:38] Lauren Abrams: Yeah, the ebook. But also I've got chapters from the book are up there and they're really good. I can't even do them justice, and

[00:18:45] Shannon Russell: how cathartic was it for you to go through that process after your dark? Time of the soul that you talk about, I'm sure it still is doing the podcast and having more of these conversations.

[00:18:55] Lauren Abrams: Oh, I just love doing them. They're so uplifting. Listened to Andre Owen. [00:19:00] That's what my husband always talks about cuz he was in prison For life. he got out and that he gives the most incredible message of hope. He goes on this, I made his message, I hope it's own little tiny episode.

Oh, he's incredible. He has spoken all over the world. He is unbelievable. Wow. Yeah. The people I get to talk to. Yeah. It's pretty amazing.

[00:19:21] Shannon Russell: What is some advice that you would give to someone who is in a dark place and thinking, what is this? What would you say to encourage them to get to the other

[00:19:31] Lauren Abrams: side?

To talk to somebody. Don't keep it in. Everything passes. It just does take steps. Don't lay in bed, don't do nothing. Any kind of action. I was taught God doesn't drive parked cars. You can't sit in a corner wishing something gets better. Any kind of action towards what it is you wanna do creates the energy towards that dream.

I don't know how that works. I start podcasting. Amazing guests here. It just happens. I started my law practice. [00:20:00] People were like, did you worry about that? Did you worry about getting clients? No. If I thought about all these things, I never would've started my law practice.

It just works. It just works. If I sat around worrying all day, nothing is ever gonna happen. Just take action. You wanna write a book? Write two to 300 words a day. That's it. That's not much. And don't worry about it. And just write, you're gonna edit it for so long and so many times.

So you just write cuz. Writing's cathartic Anyway, journaling. The two best practices that I do are journaling and meditation. There's nothing better. that will make you feel better than journaling and meditation. The two things that make me feel best are meditation and exercise. So why don't I do them 500 times a day?

I don't know. I wish I was addicted to both of those. They make me feel incredible. Endorphins are released from both, but. Yeah. I don't know. Meditation

[00:20:51] Shannon Russell: is easier than exercise, so that's

[00:20:53] Lauren Abrams: Yes, it's, go to that one. Yeah, exactly.

[00:20:56] Shannon Russell: But I like that because I feel like you're right. It's just [00:21:00] those little steps.

And you brought that up earlier too in your, scorecard. The idea that it's just those little pieces. Do something each day to get you there. And it's the same thing when you're feel like you're in a dark place and you wanna get to the other side.

And it's the same as trying to change careers or start something new or launch a podcast. It's just little steps. And you know what? Who cares if you fail? Cuz you can go back to doing what you were doing beforehand, but at least you're trying and you're not having that regret at the end of your life.

[00:21:26] Lauren Abrams: Oh my gosh.

Yeah. Yeah, definitely. And get an accountability partner. Mm, yes. Having somebody to check in with once a week. I think that is huge. I'm really big right now on talking about accountability partners. I had somebody I would check in with once a week and I'm sending right now people to my Facebook group, but I'm like, just go find an accountability partner because I just think they're so great to have somebody you don't really know so that the people please are in, you will get done what you say you're gonna get done a week later.

Whatever it is, say, okay, here's what I'm committing to. How can I help you? Because [00:22:00] my accountability partner totally helped me. Mm-hmm. And I helped her. She helped me like in the beginning with titles and descriptions, and she understood SEO and she understood that role. I helped her with her contracts, that stuff stressed her out.

It was no brainers to each of us. It's like the universe took care of us that way. Shout out to Katie. I keep doing shout outs to Katie if she's doing what it is that she wanted to do, and here I am with my podcast this much,

[00:22:24] Shannon Russell: Yeah. You can move faster with an accountability partner.

And even, yeah, you and I, Lauren, we're in a podcasting group together and it's just nice to be able to bounce ideas off each other. Have our coach in there giving us ideas. Yeah, and it's, you have to show up to get the information and it's just, it holds you accountable.

[00:22:40] Lauren Abrams: Absolutely. And you don't have to invent the wheel.

No, exactly. Like around other people, whatever it is you wanna do. There's a group. Yep. Go to a meetup. Or you can just put something out there and yeah, you'll find the best one too. So

[00:22:54] Shannon Russell: I always like to talk about the through line the thread that kind of weaves our whole life together.

And [00:23:00] with you, I feel like it really is service. You were, you're serving your clients in law, you're serving people now with the stories and that you are sharing on your podcast. Absolutely.

[00:23:10] Lauren Abrams: Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Alright,

[00:23:13] Shannon Russell: it's time for our five fast cues of the week. Here we go.

Name one thing that these different chapters in your life have taught you that

[00:23:21] Lauren Abrams: everything always works out. It might not be on your timetable and it might not be the way you thought it would, but it works out and I learned that from interviewing the much older demographic also, but it does always work out.

We

[00:23:35] Shannon Russell: need to hear that. We need to be reminded. Would you recommend taking a leap into a big life change to your best friend?

[00:23:42] Lauren Abrams: Oh, absolutely. Yeah, go

[00:23:43] Shannon Russell: for it. What is one piece of advice that you would give to someone who is trying to start a second act?

[00:23:48] Lauren Abrams: Take direction.

Just take the energy created from even small steps, which is what you talked about on my podcast. Taking those small steps creates energy, [00:24:00] and that energy creates more energy and it just does. My kids used to get so sick of hearing me talk about energy. I'm like, you'll learn about it in school. It's not just me.

Yes. Yeah, it just, even those small steps in the direction of what it is you wanna do, it works. It just does. It works.

[00:24:17] Shannon Russell: So what does the next act look like for you, Lauren?

[00:24:21] Lauren Abrams: I'm doing it. I'm gonna podcasting, keep writing, and more of this. I just love what I'm doing so good.

[00:24:29] Shannon Russell: And the confidence and clarity, you touched upon it, but we didn't really get into it.

[00:24:33] Lauren Abrams: Everything's on the website. 52weeksofhope.com.

You can go on there and click and there's confidence and clarity, growth scorecard. But you can also get a free confidence and clarity boost session. A second podcast that I'm doing right now too.

You can listen. I think they're really relatable. They're just like 15, 20 minute sessions. So you can get one of those for free, or you can go and listen to some and get some tips and tools for how to move forward.

[00:24:57] Shannon Russell: Great. So we can all connect with you on [00:25:00] your website, which is 52 Weeks of Hope.

Yep. The

[00:25:03] Lauren Abrams: number 52weeksofhope.com

[00:25:05] Shannon Russell: I will link to everything in the show notes too, on all the different ways to get in touch with you and Lauren. Do you feel like your second act is where you wanna be? Do you think you're going to get out of law and stick with podcasting and writing?

We'll see. Yeah, we'll keep doing what you're doing cuz you're bringing so much good to the lives of others. And I enjoy your podcast so much and I'm so happy to call you a friend. And thank you so much for being on

[00:25:31] Lauren Abrams: today. Yeah, thank you so much.

[00:25:36] Shannon Russell: If you would like to learn more about 52 Weeks of Hope to read Lauren's book, check out her podcast, just head over to 52weeksofhope.com.

My wish is that this episode leaves you with some hope in your own personal and professional life that you know that you are not alone on your journey. All of us have had a dark night of the soul, as Lauren calls it. And we can get through [00:26:00] it on the other side. So please take the sense of hope with you into your day.

You can DM me on Instagram @secondactsuccess and tell me what you did today to bring some hope into your life or maybe the life of someone else. Thank you so much for spending this time with me today, and I will be back with you on the next episode of the Second Act Success Career Podcast. Thank you for joining us.

I hope you've found some gems of

inspiration and some takeaways to help you on your path to second act, success. To view show notes from this episode,

visit secondactsuccess.co.

[00:26:35] Shannon Russell: Before you go, don't forget to subscribe to the podcast so you don't miss a single episode. Reviews only take a few moments and they really do mean so much.

Thank you again for listening. I'm Shannon Russell and this is Second Act Success.