Second Act Success Podcast
Season 1 -Episode #31 - Burnout is real! Burnout Coach Ash Burnside talks about the warning signs
Guest: Ash Burnside
Transcription (*created by Descript and may not be perfectly accurate)

[00:00:00] Guess what. My first online course is launching this October, it's called the Second Act Accelerator. You can check it out now at secondactsuccess.co/course. If you are thinking about making a change in life and starting a second act. Then you have got to join this program. It's an eight week course designed to help you map out steps to get you from where you are now to where you want to be. You'll get one on one coaching with me, Plus weekly group coaching live weekly workshops, plus guest experts. To help you in areas like resume writing, crafting a perfect LinkedIn profile and even branding and web design. You will also have lifetime access to our second act community. where we'll share ideas, give feedback, and support each other on this journey. Enrollment is open now. So go to secondactsuccess.co/course to learn more. You can also contact me directly to set up a call where I can walk you through what you'll learn in this program personally. It's all at secondactsuccess.co/course.

[00:00:58] Shannon: Are you at a [00:01:00] crossroads in your career or in life? Well, don't worry because life's next chapter is waiting. This is the Second Act Success Podcast. I am your host Shannon Russell.

I'm a television producer, turned boy mom, turned business owner, podcaster, and career coach. If you are looking to start a new career or begin a fresh chapter in life, then get ready to be inspired with stories of women who have done just that. We will share advice and offer steps you can take to help figure out what your true calling in life really is.

It is time to shine. So let's turn the page and get started.

Welcome to Second Act Success.

[00:01:47] Ann Burnside: trust your inner voice, it will never lead you astray. that inner voice I think can sometimes get. Jumbled like, oh, it's just anxiety. It's just, this stupid dream that I have, but you're discounting your own wisdom like that is coming from such [00:02:00] a deep, well of knowledge inside of you. Don't disrespect yourself like that. Listen to that voice, cuz it will never lead you astray.

My guest today is burnout coach Ash Burnside. I invited Ash on the show to talk about burnout and the signs that we should all be looking for in ourselves. Let's admit it. We all take on too much in life trying to balance all of the things. And burnout can creep in when we least expect it. Ash was working in marketing when the pandemic hit and she felt the overwhelming stress of her business flailing while she was helping her three little ones with school at home. She shares her story of how burnout led her to have some dangerous thoughts about wanting to end it all. Luckily some unusual signs from the universe and the support of loved ones allowed her to get the help that she I'm hoping Ash's story and her advice as a burnout coach will help you as well. Let's dive in. This is my friend Ash Burnside.

[00:02:54] Shannon Russell: Welcome to the podcast, Ash. It's so nice to have you here.

[00:02:58] Ann Burnside: Yes. Thank you so much for having.[00:03:00]

[00:03:00] Shannon Russell: Well, let's talk. So you are a burnout coach. I love the idea of helping people recover from burnout. Cause it's such a real thing, a real issue, especially since COVID. so many of us can relate to this. Can you tell me about your experience with burnout?

[00:03:15] Ann Burnside: Oh man. oh man. so there's a lot that led to, I burned out really, really, really hard, during COVID it was a long time coming. My act one actually starts at six. , I had an adverse childhood experience that I spent a long time trying to forget. and I did for the most part, like I kept it locked away for a long time. I only say this because it's important to the rising action of act one. so we fast forward 20 years, I married my high school sweetheart. we got pregnant when I was 20 years old. I was two days away from deployment. we found out we were having a kid instead. and that was really difficult. We had three boys, by the time I turned 26 and we were moving around all over. We were just chasing opportunities, trying to survive postpartum depression. Like there was [00:04:00] a lot that was happening during this time. but during nap, times of my kids, when they were babies and toddlers, I started my first online business. Which was so new to me. it went really well. I, Launched myself into digital marketing. And I got really good at it. I did copywriting and funnel building, kind of made a name for myself and I loved it. Things were going really, really well for me. And then 2020 came and we had a kindergartner at the time when everything shut down. And I don't think I've talked to anyone that, that wasn't just a train wreck for. No one had done virtual schooling really before. That was really difficult. And that started to be a teetering point for me because now on top of everything else that was happening, I'm also starting to feel the beginning effects of caregiver burnout. cuz parenting in quarentine was constant. There was no respite. There was no support. You couldn't really contact your village. Like that was incredibly isolating during what was already like a dark and scary time for so many people.

[00:04:52] Shannon Russell: absolutely. I had two little ones at home too. So I was with you during that. That was very stressful.

[00:04:58] Ann Burnside: Yeah, so you get it. that was not [00:05:00] easy. So that is kind of just another icing on top of all of the other stuff that has been brewing underneath the surface for me. I'm trying to make things happen to my business. I'm trying to keep things afloat, but the spending behavior marketing, like that shifted. So jarringly. People weren't investing in marketing. And so like I'm panicking I'm working so late into the night, I'm getting up early I'm 100% overworking myself trying to keep all of the balls in the air. I push until like August, 2020. And I can't explain it, but I just had this, knowing this feeling in my bones that something was coming for me, not in a bad way. It was really good. It was the first time in a while that like I had kind of a positive feeling about the future. I just felt like I was on the path that was meant for. and I don't know if you have any listeners that have ever felt like this, but it's almost impossible to explain, like you just feel it. So in all of my boldness, I proclaim to the universe. God, anyone that I thought was listening that I'm ready. Like I'm ready for my next [00:06:00] steps. Show me the next chapter, teach me that's the first lesson and be careful what you wish for.

[00:06:06] Shannon Russell: Oh, oh,

[00:06:07] Ann Burnside: Oh man. I definitely got it. So the next day after proclaiming this out loud, I got my first call from myself on my cell phone. My name showed up on my caller ID, my phone number. And I'm like, my phone is broken, like, I answer it. And it's just static on the other. And I'm like, okay, my phone is broken. So I take it. Nothing's wrong. And this keeps happening to me. Like every few days I'll get a call for myself and I'm like, what is going on? I have Bluetooth in my car and so I'd be driving around and like, it would randomly connect and here here's my name on the caller ID, like static again.

[00:06:41] Shannon Russell: Yeah. So strange.

[00:06:43] Ann Burnside: super strange. And you know how sometimes you wake up. Like a song in your head or like a line from the movie will just pop into your head every time this happened, like so loudly, I would hear like randomly this line that would pop into my head. And it would say your future is calling, what is she saying? And it was really bizarre. So I was like, [00:07:00] okay. I don't have anything to give to think about this. End of August early September. I actually start having really severe PTSD loops. Um, everything is finally just starting to kind of cave in, and I'm reliving this memory from childhood over and over and over and over and over again, in my head all day long, it's it's following in me into sleep. It's following me into every second of my day. I feel like I'm legitimately going crazy. Like I am losing my grip on reality over here, and reality is already bananas. So this is happening. I'm still getting calls for myself. And I feel like I've lost my marbles. Everything gets so bad. I'm living with this every day. I'm trying to keep my business afloat. I'm trying to help my kids stay on track. And none of it's working. I feel like I'm floundering. I feel like I'm failing across the board. I'm not functioning very well, but I don't tell anybody any of this because I think, you know what, like everyone's dealing with a version of this. So I just keep it inside and it gets worse. Like it gets to a boiling point. Burnout is coming in hot. For me, it gets to [00:08:00] a point where this memory is all that I'm thinking about. every time the memory fades for even just a little bit, instead of like a feeling of relief, I feel this overwhelming feeling of nothingness. There's just nothing. There's no joy. There's no pain. They're just in like this meaningless free falling void. Um, it's probably the worst and most terrifying feeling I've ever felt in my life. Time doesn't exist when you're in those moments. Cuz you're like, I'm gonna feel like this forever. And I can remember in one of those moments, I thought if this is what life is gonna be like now, like I don't want it. Um, And so I, I basically made a timeline for myself of how much longer I felt like I could keep waking up to life being like that. And so I started a countdown and I think one of the things that is probably the most terrifying when I look back at this time, that scares me the most is that I didn't tell anybody about my timeline. I didn't tell anybody about how hard it was suffer. Cuz I didn't want anyone to [00:09:00] stop me and I think that's what scares me the most looking back. so my countdown's going down, I'm still getting calls. My countdown makes it down to two days on this particular day, I wake up immediately upon waking. I hear that same line. Your future's calling. What is she saying? And I'm like, to me this is just like reinforcing the fact like I've gone crazy. I'm I'm a crazy person now. Um, On this particular day, I end up driving somewhere with Aaron and, bless him for knowing me so well, but we get into a huge fight. I don't even remember what it was for. It could have been the smallest thing. Uh, but like I just absolutely went off. I just lost it. We're yelling which is very uncharacteristic of me, but like both of us.

[00:09:40] Shannon Russell: right.

[00:09:41] Ann Burnside: He finally just like, looks at me and he goes, what's going on with you? I could tell, like, obviously he's upset, but like, he could see that like something was off he'd kind of known a little bit of like what happened before and it had a flashback in front of him before, so he knew a little bit like something happened. all I could manage really whisper. And I just [00:10:00] said, I'm remembering more about that day. And it's all I can think about. And he just looks at me and he says, Ash, like that's PTSD. And I thought like, oh my gosh, like I had so many feelings, like first it was relief. Cause I was like, there's a word that describes how I'm feeling. If there's a word that means I can get better. And then I also had this feeling of just like disbelief, because to me, PTSD was something that happened to like combat veterans and like people at the very least that could vividly remember what happened to them. And for me, for much of it, like, it was very fuzzy because I tried so actively all the time to not let my head go there, but him saying that was so healing. Because I realized that if there's a word to describe this experience, then there's a way to get better. So I literally immediately same day called my therapist was like, this is happening. I need to talk about it right now. Like right now.

[00:10:49] Shannon Russell: Right emergency

[00:10:50] Ann Burnside: Yes. Emergency, please help. I ended up calling a couple, like really close family members, close, close friends that I could trust. I couldn't quite articulate what had happened yet, [00:11:00] but I was able to tell him, like, I am not okay. I don't wanna be here and I need your help. Like, I need your help so bad. And that was so painful to ask for help. Um, but it was definitely like step number one, like raising my hand to be like, um, red alert, someone send in help over here.

[00:11:14] Shannon Russell: That's great that you were able to do that. Cuz so many people wouldn't, they would've kept it in longer. So I feel like you saw Aaron reach out and it opened you up to say, okay, I can talk to other people. That's a big step.

[00:11:26] Ann Burnside: Yeah, it was, it was a, it was a huge step. Um, and I'm glad that I took it. I'm also glad that he reached out. It's like, there's so many things that, you know, kind of had to happen first. And that line that it gets worse before it gets better is so true painfully true. Oh my gosh, because I got all the support in place. All the friends and family, I let them know what was going on. I had basically scaled back a lot of my client work. Like I just could not. I started working with a functional health doctor as well. That basically was just able to confirm like chemically. Yes, you are very burnt out. [00:12:00] Like nothing is how it's supposed to be on paper. I was working with a lot of spiritual practitioners at this point as well. Like I took a very holistic, like, we're gonna go all the way in. I do not wanna feel like this anymore. but I shattered like, and really digging in like I absolutely shattered. And I think what is so interesting. is I don't, I know how many times I've said this to myself and I've heard other people say this about themselves or to themselves, but we say like, like I just have to keep it together. I have to keep it together. I have to keep it together. Like we're so focused on like I have to keep it together and we're so afraid of breaking apart, but it's in allowing ourselves to fall apart and to truly shatter that we're able to put ourselves back together in the way that we want to be in the way that we are meant to be in the way that is the only way that we'd ever be able to like actually serve in our So with that moment of fire where I had just let myself break apart, um, that I started able to like actually forging the pieces of me back together in a way that I wanted to be in a way that actually felt good. So that really changed me, that like com that was [00:13:00] really my complete reinvention was in that moment was after burning out, was allowing myself to kind of break apart.

[00:13:06] Shannon Russell: you kept saying, you know, we have to hold it together. I think it's interesting because we feel like we have to hold it together for everyone else. Right?

[00:13:14] Ann Burnside: Yes.

[00:13:15] Shannon Russell: it's not so much for us. It's you've got three boys. You've got your partner, you've got your business. You're wanting it to stay together for everyone else. And therefore you're letting yourself go.

[00:13:25] Ann Burnside: Yes. Yes. And that gets so heavy. That is incredibly heavy. And that's the thing. Like you have to allow yourself to break. You're not gonna get stronger. That's not the antidote to that.

[00:13:36] Shannon Russell: Were you able to clearly remember the traumatic experience in your head? Once you let yourself shatter, were you able to see it deal with it? And then things got a little better.

[00:13:47] Ann Burnside: Yeah. And that's, that's really kind of like, if I could summarize it down to what was going on, that was really, it, it was. I shattered because I finally had the courage and the support to go there and to remember everything and kind of piece myself back together [00:14:00] after that, to deal with it, process it, put it away. So I wasn't carrying it in a way that was, you know, detrimental to me.

[00:14:06] Shannon Russell: right.

[00:14:06] Ann Burnside: so that's really kind of changed the way that I look at burnout now. And it influences a lot in the way that I show up for my clients and show up in this, in this way. Now, as a burnout coach is. What if burnout was your own call from within, like, what if burnout was an invitation to reinvention?

That's kind of how I see this now and how I wanna pose the question to anyone that is approaching burnout or feel like they're burning out. Like, what is the meaning behind that? Like, what's really going on.

[00:14:34] Shannon Russell: So, what is burnout? Like, how would you describe it? people can feel stress, they can feel overwhelmed, but what is it? To make you know, that this is a little bit more than stress. This is like I'm at the end of my rope. how would you describe those signals that, listeners can kind of identify if they are reaching that burnout point.

[00:14:53] Ann Burnside: burnout has actually a couple different levels to it. So you have kind of like the chronic stress that is there, there stress [00:15:00] is always gonna be in our lives. Like that's is not gonna go away. So it's normal to have, you know, healthy amounts of stress. But when you have stress that is making you compromise on your either your own boundaries, your own self care, the time that you have yourself, it's taking up your mental, or emotional faculties to do things that you love to initiate things that you love to spend time with people that you love. Now we're talking about an unhealthy amount of stress. So that is probably kind of the first thing that you're gonna notice is like, wait a minute, where is my time going? You're gonna start to feel squeezed out of your own life. Like you don't have time for you anymore when that happens over a period of time and it's, it's chronic, it starts to build up. This is where that overwork fatigue can come in. And this is where it starts to turn into burnout. Because now you're gonna start to see this in all of the different ways in your body. It's gonna show up in your body cuz you're gonna not feel good. You're probably a fallen off whatever movement wagon you were on, whatever you did to take care of yourself, you probably haven't been doing. So that's gonna start to domino a lot of things [00:16:00] in your body. You're gonna have more cortisol. That's gonna start to happen, but like emotionally and mentally, you're gonna have brain fog. You're gonna feel like doing work and focusing is actually a lot harder, more irritability, mood swings, like snappy. All of these things are gonna start to show up. Um, and it eats at you slow. , the pattern that I see the most is that people either get. When they're first getting into it. Cause they're like, whoa, something's happening. I'm starting to feel these ways. Like if you're feeling any of these ways that I'm saying now, a hundred percent, like you're sliding into burnout. And then the other end it's like, you felt like this for months. And you're like, oh no, cause now you realize like, oh, this is burnout. I've been burnt out for a couple months. So that's kind of the, the scale where it just, it keeps building and building. And like once you've been carrying that, that's, that's what can really dictate the level and severity of burnout is how long have you been carrying that and how little support have you had? If you've had little blips of reprieve, it's not gonna make it go away, but it can make you feel like you can carry it [00:17:00] longer, which can make it feel like the burnout. Maybe isn't as bad, but it's still there. Um, so those are the things that can also kind of influence the types of burnout and the level.

[00:17:09] Shannon Russell: That's scary then. So you can kind of feel like you,, oh, it might not be so bad, but it's because you're pushing it off. So that's interesting to kind of keep an eye on if you feel like you're getting to that point. Is it stomach aches? Is it, tiredness? Is it that kind of stuff? I, I can imagine that your body starts to shut down in different ways physically.

[00:17:29] Ann Burnside: Oh yeah, it does. And what's interesting too, is. , your experience is kind of, , kind of mirrors externally and internally, I guess. So emotionally and mentally, like, those are the things that you'll actually see first. Um, but those are the things that most people aren't going to be in tune enough with to realize that they're slipping.

you're gonna get brain fog first. You're gonna get the irritability first. You're gonna feel like what the heck. Like, I haven't nailed to do the things I wanna do first. And then all the other things are gonna start to. And this is gonna show up really differently for everyone, cuz everyone's [00:18:00] body is very different. But stomach aches can definitely be part of it, huge anxiety. And it can be this really general sense of anxiety because you know, balls are dropping. You're not really sure which ball's gonna drop it. I forget to do this thing. There's so much that's happening. That's gonna add to that anxiety. Again, like things are just slipping through their backs, cuz the burnout just keeps ramping up. If you're someone that suffers from migraines, you might be able to see your migraines are increasing in frequency. There's also a lot of hormonal issues that can come here too, cuz this, that cortisol, when that takes over your body for an extended period of time, that has a domino effect to all the other systems, but your hormone and your endocrine system is the first place it's gonna hit. So for women, especially, you're going to see that hormonal shift of. If you have, you know, had clear skin, you're gonna see acne that start to come back. You're gonna have sleeping problems, your ability to fall asleep, stay asleep, appetites, metabolism, mood, all of that, all the things that are impacted by our hormones. You're gonna see that go really out of whack really quickly.

[00:18:56] Shannon Russell: So, how did you get into coaching? So you have [00:19:00] this come to Jesus moment with your own burnout, and then talk to me about the process where you recover and decide to kind of change your business a little bit.

[00:19:10] Ann Burnside: Yeah. So I have loved coaching for a long time. Even when I was in marketing, I did marketing coaching for smaller businesses and I loved it. after I had, you know, gotten better, I have a mentor and a really close friend of mine. that kind of took me under her wing as I was healing and like trying to be functional. Right. she had a slew of private clients and she came to me and she was like, Hey, I don't have time to answer some of their marketing questions. She was helping to kind of train up some of their marketing teams. So there was, you know, a lot of junior marketing team members, and she was like, they just need someone to just talk to and to educate them on like some of the standards or like what to expect. She's like, would you be interested in being a marketing coach for me? And so I came on as a marketing coach initially. but in connecting with a lot of these team members that were also creatives that were, you know, some of them had ADHD, [00:20:00] they had all these other things going on, which was really similar to my journey. And I saw so much of myself and them. But starting to coach them, I kind of went back to her and I was like, Hey, uh, these people are burnt out. Like they're tired. Would you be open to me approaching this as, you know, either an ADHD or a burnout coach. And she was super, super supportive of that. She's like, oh my gosh. Yes. Like you see it, do it, go do it, practice. Tell me how it goes. And it was crazy. Like I loved it so much. The first one. I don't think I had very many where like, someone didn't cry, not that crying is a metric of success here, but it was just like, they felt so seen and heard. And it was, so me, it was such meaningful work for me to be doing. Cause I kind of felt like I was like reaching back through time to give myself what I didn't have.

[00:20:45] Shannon Russell: Exactly. And you knew the signs, you knew you're able to see them and give them the tools that you needed to kind of get through.

[00:20:55] Ann Burnside: Yeah. It was very magical.

[00:20:57] Shannon Russell: did you decide to kind of leave marketing and [00:21:00] go into being a, burnout coach full time?

[00:21:02] Ann Burnside: Yeah. So I started studying a lot more of like, what are the other things that help with burnout? What are the other methodologies I might need to learn? Is there anything else, like, what do I need to be the best at this? Like how can I truly show up and serve the people in the way that they need to be served? I started slowly kind of pivoting myself out of marketing and into burnout coaching full.

[00:21:22] Shannon Russell: There's so many little connections from your first act to your second act, right? Like,

[00:21:26] Ann Burnside: Oh, yes.

[00:21:27] Shannon Russell: Even the coaching, the marketing coaching to now coaching burnout. Um, what are some of the processes, do they just say help? I just need some kind of relief. Talk to me about how you kind of work with your clients.

[00:21:40] Ann Burnside: there's four milestones that I work through as a burnout coach. So this is like burnout recovery 1 0 1. This is how I would describe it. So it is important that we call these milestones and not steps because like anything healing getting better is very much not a linear journey. So it's not like, step one. Great. You're never gonna have to return to this. We're gonna go on to step up too forever. Like [00:22:00] no, no. Um, but milestone one then is developing cognizant, basically just becoming aware of where is your energy going? What is your bandwidth actually like, and just starting to become aware of where everything is. We can't really do much unless you're really aware of like what's actually going on and why is it happening that way? And then the second thing is we can't talk about burnout without talking about resilience because that is what is gonna come in and really build you up out of it. So resilience building resilience. I work really closely with my clients to build that back up and there is a whole science, resilience science is a thing. A huge multidisciplinary global study, of literally every, every person there's scientists, anthropologists, sociologists, everyone , that is dedicating themselves to adding to this science, um, for this reason to helping people understand like how to heal themselves, how to move forward, how to be better.

[00:22:48] Shannon Russell: Mm-hmm

[00:22:49] Ann Burnside: So that's what we do. There's a lot of different components in resilience that I help work with them, but that's essentially it, like, what do you specifically need? Where do you feel like you need support? And let's build [00:23:00] resilience support into that so that you know how to support yourself so I'm walking through them through that process. That's milestone t Milestone three is what I call understanding your personal energetics. Your own self management. Where are you spending your energy? Where are you spending your time? Where is that going? We have to be able to do work. We have to be able to show up for our family. Understanding this, like, how can you help yourself? Is there a system that we can set up that is going to help you, stay on track and to not feel like, you have that, that feeling of burnout that you're getting kind of crowded out of your own life again? Like what. Ramps like guardrails basically. Can we put on so that you either have like some red flags? So, you know, like, Hey, I didn't get to do this thing this week. Like that means something. What does it mean? And then the last one is elevating self-trust. That is the biggest thing. This is probably where the most healing happens is. that's really what burnout does on a really deep level. It not only does it crowd you out of your own self, but at some point you stop trusting your own voice and trusting what your [00:24:00] intuition and your inner self is trying to tell you is going on. And so we have to rebuild that we have to rebuild the trust that we have with ourselves to rebuild that confidence, rebuild our self-esteem so that we can reenter whatever work it is that we wanna do. But, for me, I always say it so we can be present for our purpose. That's really the. The purpose of, of those four different milestones. So you'll cycle through them probably a couple times, but I basically lay the ground of like, right, this is milestone one. This is what it feels like. This is the work that we do. What milestone am I coming around to again, what am I working on with myself?

[00:24:30] Shannon Russell: That is so valuable. Like just hearing that expression, which I've never heard before of crowding yourself out of your own life. Like, wow. So many times we can feel that way. And especially as moms working moms, like you just feel like your life is not your own. And you're just being crowded out. That really hit me, I can resonate with that so much. and really knowing your, life's purpose, like you said, I feel like a lot of our listeners are at a point, maybe they're not at burnout yet [00:25:00] or nearing that level of, of overwhelm, but the fact that they are trying to make this decision of what's next for me and do I need to change. Is there another passion that I want to pursue and just kind of knowing that you need to fulfill your purpose and you need to have room to do it, and you don't wanna feel crowded out and, and go in someone else's direction.

[00:25:22] Ann Burnside: Yeah, yeah.

[00:25:23] Shannon Russell: powerful. Have you seen that with your clients that, you know, maybe they're at this turning point in their life and they're not sure where to go and that's the burnout is causing that anxiety.

[00:25:34] Ann Burnside: Oh man. I've seen that a lot of times where it's like the burnout is almost, it's almost a personification of this internal war that they have not been able to give a voice to. They might not even be able to articulate that it's consciously happening, you can tell it's there cuz you're talking to them. And it's such a gear shift, okay, I have this project that's coming up and I have these deadlines going on and this is also happening at home and I don't know how to deal with it. And I'm like, okay, Let's just gear shift [00:26:00] real quick. A year from now two years from now, five years from now, you're doing what you love, what are you doing? And they're like, oh, I would be doing this, this. And I'm like, oh, interesting. So you're telling me that you wanna be doing this thing, do you think maybe this sense of burnout is coming from the fact that you don't wanna do any of the things you're doing right now? They're like, oh, wait a minute. so yes, a lot of times it does come from that feeling of misalignment. Not always, I wanna give room for the fact that that's not always the case. in a lot of cases. Yes. Yes it is.

[00:26:30] Shannon Russell: Right. And it's almost like that eye opener to really kind of, give space for your resilience and look inside and see what you're not telling yourself. Maybe not a traumatic past experience, but just something that you're putting away in a corner that you think isn't. A reasonable decision for you or a step that you can make. And now I'm thinking maybe I suffered from burnout at this time. But when I first had my son, who's now 10, I moved from Los Angeles back home, [00:27:00] near my family in New Jersey. I was commuting two hours each way to New York city. Yeah. And I was pregnant with my little one at the time. And one day. I was so sick in Port Authority Bus Station that I couldn't get on the bus. And I went into the bathroom and I was getting sick and I was like, and it wasn't a pregnancy sick, you know how you can tell the difference if it's

[00:27:23] Ann Burnside: You totally can.

[00:27:24] Shannon Russell: And I just remember this awful day calling my husband being like, I can't get on this bus I can still remember it so clearly. And. That was right before I decided to leave my career as a television producer and go out on my own and start my own business. It was just, I think, all that stress, the commute, the pregnancy, the change of locations and just everything that just kind of, my body couldn't take it anymore.

[00:27:46] Ann Burnside: I was sending you a message. He was telling you something.

[00:27:48] Shannon Russell: And so many times I feel like we can. Push that away. Ignore it until we get ourselves really sick. it comes back to what we said earlier about doing it because we're taking care of everyone [00:28:00] else that it's so important to pay the bills, which of course is important. You know, manage the kids, manage the house, take them to their practices, do all of the stuff. But what about us? Is it okay that we go to work a nine to five job that we're miserable in? Just so we can take care of everyone else? It's like that, that point where you have to think. I need to be happy before I can make everyone else happy.

[00:28:23] Ann Burnside: yeah, it is. And it, it does come back to that self trust. It's about trusting yourself, trusting what your, your voice is saying and trusting that you do actually know what's best for yourself. Even if you don't know all of the steps yet, even if you don't know how or why. Like, if you have something that is trying, if you have that little voice inside, that's like, Hey, either do this or stop doing this, listen to it. Because when is that ever gonna lead you astray? Like, I, I love asking this question of my clients. Tell me a time that your intuition led you into a bad situ. I'll wait, like there's none like there's none. When has it ever not worked [00:29:00] out when you've listened to yourself when you've listened to that own pull inside? When it does come to like being a mom and being someone that like, you know, my family looks to, like my kids are watching me. They see what I do. I want them to see that their mom is passionate about what they do. I want them to see that their mom was able to change herself. I want them to see that their mom does something and that she listens to her own call. Even if that doesn't match what other people do, because ultimately that's what I would want for them.

[00:29:25] Shannon Russell: And you're so strong now, and now you're helping others. So they probably couldn't be more proud of you and more happy that you're here and healthy.

[00:29:32] Ann Burnside: Yes. Yeah.

[00:29:34] Shannon Russell: It's funny to think that you, you didn't listen to your own internal voice, you even had your phone calling you, which was a greater sign from

[00:29:42] Ann Burnside: Oh my gosh. Yes. Holy cow.

[00:29:46] Shannon Russell: now did that stop afterwards?

[00:29:48] Ann Burnside: Yeah. And it was interesting because it's almost like a little bell curve. Like it kind of ramped up from the beginning. And there was a point where I was getting them every single day, every day it was happening. And it was like almost the, the [00:30:00] more help that I was getting. The more that I was talking about my story, the less frequent they started happening but looking back now at it, I can see where it started to fall off where it's like, I it's cuz I stopped thinking about leaving the world basically that they really stopped. They stopped showing up. I stopped getting the calls for myself.

[00:30:20] Shannon Russell: the fact that you were able to reach out to other people and just be honest, a lot of us don't talk to friends when we're feeling that way. And if you're stressed at your job, you're just like, okay, everyone's stressed at their job. I just, you know, gonna go through it another day. The reason I started this, this podcast is to. Tell people that you can get through it, you can get from act one to act two and your act one might be amazing. I loved my first job. It just, I got a little stress and needed a change. Both, both acts were amazing. So you don't have to be completely re miserable, but you just have to find a place where everything's in tune, right? Everything in your world kind of fits in a way that [00:31:00] is making you your best version of yourself for everyone around you.

[00:31:03] Ann Burnside: Yes. Exactly.

[00:31:04] Shannon Russell: What does being present for your purpose mean to you? You mentioned that a little bit earlier.

[00:31:09] Ann Burnside: Ooh. So this is one that I love, cause this is very much intertwined with some of the stuff that I do with people. This, I would say has basically two parts that is in the two different milestones that's gonna come up. So this comes up in the milestone of building resilience and also comes up in the milestone of elevating yourself. Trust. So being present for your purpose, kind of like what you're saying, like knowing what that is, but that can in itself overwhelm some people if they don't know what that is. So it's like, how do you find that? Well, unfortunately there's no magic pill. I can't give you a secret roadmap. But in building resilience, uh, and in creating that space for ourselves to exist. And part of that space is that you get to discover who you really are, that post shatter period, when you're forging that new you is figuring out like, what the heck that is. And so in building up that resilience and creating that space for yourself, you're, you're doing those questions. You're doing that kind of [00:32:00] inner excavation of like, who is this person really? Who am I at a Deeper level, what do I stand for? What's actually important to me and what do I really want out of life? How do I wanna feel on a day to day basis? Those are the deeper questions that we ask ourselves because it's not gonna be, one thing that's gonna pop out at you. It's not gonna come to you in a shining moment of clarity of like, oh, I asked these 10 journal questions and now I'm gonna be a doctor in Africa. Like it's not gonna come out that clear, you know,

[00:32:27] Shannon Russell: would be nice, but yeah, it's

[00:32:29] Ann Burnside: It certainly would certainly would that in those, those self-development questions that you ask, those self-reflection questions it's like you start to hone in and calibrate your own personal compass because that compass is going to point you in the right direction. That's all you're gonna get from yourself is the right direction. You're gonna start taking steps in that direction. So you don't have to quit your job overnight. You don't have to start your second act, you know, right at the, the drop of a pen. It's just a matter about taking those steps. What are you interested in? What's the thing that's calling you. Take one step towards that, [00:33:00] buy a book about it, read about it, attend a seminar, talk to someone that's in the industry. You know, one little step because clarity follows action. That is what we're looking for here. So you're taking steps in that direction as you're doing this work.

and it's in doing that, that you're going to start to, to figure out like, oh, I really do love this thing. Or I really feel called in this area and you're gonna keep calibrating that compass. And that compass is your self trust. That's your direction. So you see how this work now is, is very cyclical, where you're gonna keep coming back around to these different milestones, these different pieces.

[00:33:31] Shannon Russell: it becomes a little less scary for you. So if you think I wanna be a doctor in Africa, but that's really scary. And that's outside of my comfort zone. Well, start understanding what your purpose is, working towards those little steps at a time to get there. And it won't be as scary.

[00:33:45] Ann Burnside: Exactly. And that's where the, that sense of like, feeling like how do you wanna feel that is a question of embodiment instead of achievement, which is a huge shift. And to me, like that's a big part of burnout too, is when we're chasing achievement, instead of how do we wanna feel? What are you actually [00:34:00] embodying right now? So keeping that center too, and keeping that as a tool to calibrate your compass to is gonna help you take the right direction. So you don't end up in the wrong place.

[00:34:07] Shannon Russell: there's so many people who are high achievers, but they aren't excited when they wake up in the morning to do what it is they do. And, and it's gotta be a balance. I would think ideally.

[00:34:18] Ann Burnside: yeah, absolutely.

[00:34:19] Shannon Russell: So for our listeners who might be at that point where they're nearing burnout or they know they want to change and they just are a little stressed out. What advice would you give them?

[00:34:30] Ann Burnside: this is one of my favorite questions. So I have something called, rescue self. 10 minutes. You need 10 minutes. Ideally you would do this like three times a day, but it's okay to start with just once a day. So 10 minutes, three times a day, or the ones, if that's all you can find, and just take 10 minutes and you're gonna do two different activities.

I say, do an activity for your body and then you're gonna leave space for your mind. So activity for your body is something really simple, something you do not have to think about for me, I usually do [00:35:00] nothing. like, I either take my dog on a walk or I will sit outside or live right by the woods. So I'll sit outside and watch the birds, or watch the leaves in the trees. If it's the winter, then I will watch the snowfall. Like literally it's something very, very simple. and then something for your mind is you're giving space for your mind. So you're not thinking about something you're not turning on music. You're not listening to a podcast. You can meditate if you want.

you can do a very simple guided meditation, but the 10 minutes is really you're giving yourself right to just. Not fill it up with more stuff, not fill it up with 10 minutes of super productivity, cuz those are the things that are making us overwhelmed. Those are things that are making us tired. So just taking 10 minutes to yourself to just exist in that 10 minutes of space and time and not be worried about anything else. That is a really huge place to start. So start with once a day. But if you get it to three times a day, that will do a lot. So that's what I would recommend will place to start.

[00:35:52] Shannon Russell: That's great advice, isn't that sad that we would feel like we can't find the 10 minutes, but I bet you, it [00:36:00] just brings you back into yourself because otherwise, don't you feel like these days? I know for me, I'm always putting a podcast on or, the TV's on, in the background or, you know, you're just constantly not thinking your own thoughts. You're listening, thinking

[00:36:14] Ann Burnside: Listening. Yeah. Yeah. And that's really the purpose of the 10 minutes too, is like 10 minutes is easy to find. It would be overwhelming if I was like, all right, you gotta find 30 minutes. You're like, wait, what? I booked up for the next four hours. But

[00:36:26] Shannon Russell: 10 is doable.

[00:36:27] Ann Burnside: Anyone can find 10

[00:36:28] Shannon Russell: That's really true. It's just making that a, like, scheduling that in your calendar saying, okay. Find that at any point in the day, that's great advice

[00:36:37] Shannon: Alright. It's time for our Five Fast Qs of the Week. Here we go!

[00:36:43] Shannon Russell: Name one thing that your different chapters in life have taught you.

[00:36:47] Ann Burnside: listen, listen to myself to, to trust myself in the direction that I am propelling myself forward.

[00:36:53] Shannon Russell: Would you recommend taking a leap into a big life change to your best?

[00:36:58] Ann Burnside: Yes, yes. Do it. [00:37:00] Do it.

[00:37:00] Shannon Russell: what is one piece of advice that you would give someone who is trying to start their second act?

[00:37:04] Ann Burnside: probably the same thing I told me about myself, trust your inner voice, like that is never going to steal you wrong. And that inner voice I think can sometimes get. Jumbled for being anxiety like, oh, it's just anxiety. Or like, it's just, you know, this stupid dream that I have, but like you're discounting your, your own wisdom like that is coming from such a deep, well of knowledge inside of you. Don't disrespect yourself like that. Listen to that voice, cuz it will never lead you astray.

[00:37:31] Shannon Russell: what does the next chapter look like for you Ash?

[00:37:34] Ann Burnside: Definitely more burnout coaching, but yeah, the, the next chapter is gonna have more connection to more connection as far as, um, as a way to build out resilience, making meaning. So I'm excited to bring in this more personal avenue into the work that I'm doing as well.

[00:37:49] Shannon Russell: So where can our audience connect with you to learn more?

[00:37:52] Ann Burnside: I would love to have conversations on Instagram. Follow me @healinghustle co on Instagram. [00:38:00] I post different things as well about burnout recovery and starting your journey. I would love people to follow and learn more.

[00:38:04] Shannon Russell: I've learned so much and I know our listeners have too. Such great insight. And plus it was so wonderful to hear about your first and second acts and just all the ways that you're helping people on their journeys. So thank you very much, Ash.

[00:38:17] Ann Burnside: Thank you so much for having me Shannon.

[00:38:19] Shannon Russell: Learning more about burnout from Ash really has me thinking. We really do have so much balancing on our shoulders every given day between work family, friends, home, and life. There is very little left for us. If you are feeling more stressed than normal, or if life is giving you a little bit more than you can chew, please, please take a step back to reassess. Ash is proof that ignoring the signs can lead you down a dark path, so pay attention to the thoughts and the feelings that you're having. I loved Ash's advice about taking 10 minutes, a few times a day away from everything to just be. Remember that you can't be the light in this world that you're [00:39:00] destined to be. If you do not take care of the person inside. That is you. Take care of you. I thank you for joining Ash Burnside and I for this very important conversation. But now do me a favor and take your earbuds out step outside for 10 minutes. And I promise it will make the rest of the day. Just that much better. Talk to you soon. My friends.

[00:39:22] Shannon:

Thank you for joining us. I hope you found some gems of inspiration and some takeaways to help you on your path to Second Act Success. To view show notes from this episode, visit secondactsuccess.co. Before you go, don't forget to subscribe to the podcast. So you don't miss a single episode. Reviews only take a few moments and they really do mean so much. Thank you again for listening. I am Shannon Russell, and this is Second Act Success.