What Your Kids Learn From Watching You Chase Your Dreams

Transcription:
Second Act Success Podcast
Season 1 – What Your Kids Learn From Watching You Chase Your Dreams
Episode - #256
Host: Shannon Russell
Transcription (*created by Descript and may not be perfectly accurate)

Shannon Russell: [00:00:00] Hey there, my friend. Welcome back to the Second Act Success Podcast. I'm your host, Shannon Russell. This episode is a really personal one, and honestly, I think it's something that many of us, especially as parents, don't stop to think about enough. And it's the idea that when we're sitting here, and we're thinking about that second act, and we're thinking about that career change or starting that business or what it is that we want to do next,
It's important to realize our children are watching us.
They are watching how we work, how stressed we are, how much time we spend with them, how we talk about our jobs, how we talk about our businesses. They are watching us as we chase our goals and how we handle failure and how we dream. Whether we realize it or not, we are teaching our children what adulthood can look like every single day.
They only [00:01:00] know what they see at home, what they see from their teachers at school, what maybe they see on television or in movies. We might not be able to control what they see in the outside world, but we can control what they see at home with us.
As parents, we spend so much time trying to teach our kids lessons directly, right? Work hard. Believe in yourself. You can do anything. Yet, the truth is our kids learn far more from what they see than what they hear.
They watch how we live. So if we are constantly complaining about work, if we're burned out, if we come home at the end of the day from a stressful day of work, And that stress carries over into our time with them,
they notice that. And if we complain, but we never make a change to find something better, they're seeing that. If we say that dreams matter, yet they don't see us pursuing our own, they [00:02:00] notice. If we burn ourselves out by trying to prove something to everyone else, they notice that external validation may be more important than how you feel about yourself.
I'm bringing this up and I'm creating this episode because I believe that sometimes, a lot of times, as adults, we are busy. We are running around. We're taking care of everyone. We're doing all of the things, and we're getting dinner on the table and we're balancing that schedule.
We need reminders, and I am here right now in your ear making you aware that your kids are actually watching what you do. How you're feeling about your job, how you're feeling about work, and what your dreams are, your kids are watching you. I want to share with you something that happened in my life this week that prompted this episode and this topic.
And it's my son, my oldest son, was giving a history fair presentation, and the parents were invited to come and [00:03:00] watch. I watched his friends give their presentations, and then it was his turn. His topic was the history of diversity and feminism.
He began his presentation, he was riled up. Now, my son is a go-getter. He is a performer. He is wise beyond his years. So this eighth grader was actually talking as if he was in college, he was animated as if he was this politician or this prosecutor on trial.
He was walking back and forth talking about the awful history of, racism in America and feminism and all of these things these topics he felt very strongly about.
And at the very end of his presentation, he pulls out my book, my book I wrote a year ago.
And he says, "And this is my mom. She is trying to help other women so that they can feel empowered and start over in their lives." And he held up my book, and I was [00:04:00] at first, to be honest, embarrassed. Like, "Oh, gosh, why are you calling me out? This is so sweet, but, you know, this isn't about me." and Everyone was clapping, and he included me in this list of these women who were making a difference in our country.
Other parents were coming up to me saying, "Did you really write that book? How cool is it that he brought this up and incorporated this into his presentation?" And I was just so overwhelmed and so touched.
, I of course thanked him, said goodbye, and in the car ride home, I thought about it and I said, "Wow, he is seeing what I'm doing. He sees the work I do, the businesses I've built, my podcast, my book, when I speak on stages. He sees this, and he is proud of me."
And I don't know, I guess I always hoped, and that was my goal, is that I want my kids to see me, creating second acts and, , building businesses and doing [00:05:00] all of these things, these dreams that I have, making these goals and, and accomplishing them. But you never really know how they truly feel about it because they're young.
I guess this example made me think, "Wow, they are really watching." And whether they say it with words or with hugs or any of that, this showed me that, he can put me in a category with other women in our history who have tried to make a difference in this country and help others.
And, you know, I am definitely not a civil rights activist or anything like that, but that little inclusion, showing me that he is proud meant everything to me. It really, truly did. I guess I wanted to make this episode today to just remind you that you might not get the props from your kids.
You might not get the props from your partner or your friends. But what you are doing and how you are reinventing yourself or taking those strides to [00:06:00] start something new in your life so that you won't have regrets at the end of the day, your kids are seeing this. And maybe it's going to be five, 10, 20 years from now where they come and say, "Mom, I saw you.
I'm proud of you. You encouraged me to go after what I want." we Want better for our kids than we have had. I want my kids, and I tell them all the time, "You don't have to choose one career path. You can start out in one, and you can pivot to another.
You can have multiple. You can have a career and own a business. You can do anything." If we model these things to our children, they are picking them up in small little ways that hopefully will affect them as they get older, and they can again start living their lives in a fuller way where they are accomplishing their goals and they're going after all of the things that life has to offer.
Then that is going to be an example for their children and so on and so on. but we are [00:07:00] modeling to our kids whether we know it or not.
many of you who are longtime listeners know that becoming a mom changed everything for me. It literally is the reason that I left my dream job, my dream career in television, and started opening businesses.
And now that my kids are a little bit older, they're eleven and fourteen right now, they don't remember me working in television. My older one was three, three and a half when I left, and my little one was just born. So they of course don't remember my commutes to the city and my travel and my missing things.
But what they see is that I am living a life that I love. And I wanted my children, when I made that shift, I wanted to create a life where my children saw me as present and they saw me as fulfilled. Did I want them to see me as a mom that was stressed and absent and missing birthdays and holidays and all of the things?
[00:08:00] No. And I made the very, very, very hard choice of leaving something I love, something I was good at, something I was known for, to start over, start a second act. And I figured out through hits and misses how to build a life with more flexibility and fulfillment and presence. That question, that decision was a hard one, a very hard one.
But it honestly became a driving force behind my own second act.
They notice when we're happy. They notice when we're exhausted. And they notice, I think so importantly, when we light up talking about something that means something to us, or when we're brave enough to try something new.
I think one of the most powerful things we can model for our kids is that it is okay to change. It's okay to outgrow a career or make a pivot or shift just [00:09:00] so to find something that fits the kind of life that you want to live just a little bit more. it's okay to chase a dream when you're a teenager, when you're in college, when you're young and starting out, and even later in life.
That lesson alone can change the trajectory of how our children see their own futures.
I want to be clear here that this episode is not about making anyone listening feel guilty for working hard or providing for their families. Not at all. , I always try to be so honest here on the podcast about, , the highs and lows of businesses and of making those sacrifices.
And I'm honest with you here right now saying that I run a few businesses right now. I also work part-time. This is something that's happened maybe in the last few months or so. I have my book, I have my podcast, I speak on stages. So I am running many different things that all provide income to me and my family.
Yes, it [00:10:00] would be great to just do one of those things, but financially it's not an option. I am choosing the life of let's do all the things and, and, and be busy and bring that money into my family because it's what I choose to do. I could easily go and get another job and have that be everything, but that's not what I'm doing.
And that's not what I choose to do. Everyone has their own choices of what works for them and their families, but it's not all rainbows and sunshine on the other side of your second act either. You have to find a way that works for you. Sometimes work is work. Sometimes we take these jobs because we need that stability.
And sometimes seasons are really demanding. But as long as we are open to living that life that feels good to us, showing up as the parent that you want to be to your kids, you can make it work. And it might not be tomorrow. It might be a year or two from [00:11:00] now, but you can start working towards what that looks like for you.
If we can evolve in our lives and we can redefine what success looks like, we will be showing our children that they have agency in their own life to make those decisions.
So I want to leave you with this one question today: What are your children learning from the way that you approach work and life right now? not from what you say, from what they see. And if that answer feels uncomfortable, that's okay. That is the awareness I was hoping this, this podcast episode would bring to you, because awareness creates change.
especially as moms, we are doing it all, sometimes we're not aware of how we're behaving, how we're acting, how we're coming off to our children. Give yourself grace and think about it.
Let this question sink in,
maybe it will open you up to looking to see how your kids [00:12:00] are viewing you, how they're seeing you at the end of the day, how they're seeing you talk about the work that you do.
Our children are watching us so much more closely than we realize, and they're so much smarter than we give them credit for.
Let's allow them to see what's possible in this big, beautiful, amazing, adventurous world we are living in.
Think about it. Maybe your second act isn't just for you. Maybe it's permission for your kids someday too
If this episode left you thinking a little bit and you wanna share, I would love to hear from you. Feel free to message me on Instagram. I'm @secondactsuccess, or you can shoot me an email at info@secondactsuccess.co. All right, my friend, have a wonderful day, and I will see you on the next episode.
Speaker: Thank you for joining me for another episode of the Second Act Success podcast. If this episode has you thinking about starting a [00:13:00] business or growing the one that you already have, I offer free Second Act strategy calls. This is where we map out what makes sense for your business and your life. You can book yours now at secondactsuccess.co/strategy or grab the link in the show notes below.
As always, thank you for being here. Until next time, I'm your host, Shannon Russell, wishing you the best day ahead as you plan your second act. I'll see you on the next episode.