Afraid of What People Will Think? How to Overcome Self-Doubt in Business | #252

Transcription:
Second Act Success Podcast
Season 1 – Afraid of What People Will Think? How to Overcome Self-Doubt in Business
Episode - #252
Host: Shannon Russell
Transcription (*created by Descript and may not be perfectly accurate)

Shannon Russell: [00:00:00] Let me ask you something. Have you ever stopped yourself from chasing a dream because you were too worried about what other people would think?
, If you have ever thought, what will people say about me opening a business when I've been in this career for so long?
You are not alone. And today I'm going to help you quiet that self-doubt and get past the fear of outside opinions.
Welcome back to the second Act Success podcast. I'm your host business coach and author of Start Your Second Act, Shannon Russell. Let's start off by talking about where this self-doubt comes from.
And we all have it. Whether you are the most confident person in the world, think Oprah Winfrey. She has self-doubt. We have self-doubt. Everyone doubts themselves, especially when you're stepping into something new. And self-doubt shows up loudest when we're about to be bold. When we're [00:01:00] about to think about a drastic change in our lives,
leaping into our second act, leaving a steady career to launch a business. We're excited. We're imagining the future, and then that inner critic gets really chatty. What if I fail? What if people laugh? What will my old coworkers think?
What will my boyfriend from high school think? Your thoughts start overtaking the rest of you, Instantly, I think whether you are a pro social media or not, you think about that first time you will post about your new business online and what people will have to say,
but I want you to listen. Those thoughts don't mean that you're not capable of doing this thing. Those thoughts mean that you're human. You are like the rest of us, and your brain is wired to keep you safe. By avoiding any risks. So that's why those voices come up.
That's why those [00:02:00] negative thoughts come up. And it's even why I often say on this podcast that if you're thinking about doing something big and you're thinking about starting a second act, maybe keep it a little close to the vest for a while before you tell other people. Because the same thing when friends and family find out what you are thinking about or moving into.
They might start telling you the worst case scenario. They want to do that, not because they're bad friends, but because their brains are also wired to keep you safe. By bringing up those fears and what could happen, they are just trying to protect you.
It really does come from a good place, especially friends and family.
My point being is to take all of those fears that you have from inside and any that you might hear from outside, and take those with a grain of salt. Now this is easier to do when these are your internal thoughts, your self saboteur. But let's [00:03:00] talk about what happens when you have that fear of what others will think. And many of my clients say, I wanna start this business, but I can't stop thinking. About what people will think about this change.
It makes sense because you've spent years, maybe decades building your career, maybe you have friends from college who knew what you studied, what your major was. You have people who started with you in your career, colleagues, mentors, friends, family, they all know what you have done.
Okay, so stepping out of the box can feel really terrifying. Not just for you, but for you when you tell others. But here's a reframe that often works. Their opinions don't pay your bills, and they don't have power over your happiness.
When you start thinking about that, you start realizing, yeah, I am in this. For me, what I'm choosing to do [00:04:00] in my second act is for me, it doesn't matter what the person who sat in the cubicle next to you during your first job thinks.
What matters is that you are living your life to the fullest, that you are going after a goal, that is what matters. That you are doing this for yourself
and something I often tell myself when I start feeling these fears is that, you know what? Everyone's busy and most people are caught up in their own lives that they are not going to pay attention to what I decide to do in mine, and those who do have opinions are pretty much not my ideal audience.
They are not people that I really spend a lot of time thinking about, those people are often just mirroring their own self fears. So when you think of it that way, The road is yours. This is your journey. Don't let anyone else stop you

Speaker 2: If this episode has you thinking about [00:05:00] starting a business or growing the one that you already have, I offer free second ACT strategy calls. This is where we map out what makes sense for your business and your life. You can book yours now at second act success.co/strategy, or grab the link in the show notes below.
Now let's get back to the show.

Shannon Russell: No episode about self-doubt and fear of what others think. Can be made without referencing the great Mel Robbins and her let them theory.
I'm sure you have heard of the Let Them Theory, it's a theory. It's a book that Mel Robbins put out, it's all about what to do when people have opinions, judgments, or doubts about you, and what can you do about that. You can let them. I've referenced this on the podcast several times in the past, but it really is just an incredible reminder and something that I think we all have to [00:06:00] keep in the forefront of our mind during everyday situations.
And it can be about fear of changing careers, fear of starting a business, or it can just be standing in line at the grocery store and someone is very slow in front of you. And you have an appointment to get to, or you have to pick the kids up from school. You can get worked up about it. You can get stressed, you can feel that anxiety, or you can let them, and you can take a breath and you can remind yourself that this is not the end of the world
and bringing it back to second acts and self-doubt and thinking about your next step in your life. Let them can play a huge part of this. If someone is going to think that you are quote unquote, crazy for leaving a secure job, let them. If someone tells you are too old or too inexperienced to start a business, let them, if someone rolls their eyes or leaves a [00:07:00] mean comment on your page, let them.
Because their interactions say absolutely nothing about you, your worth, your potential, and how successful your second act will be. When you embrace Mel's, let them theory, you can stop wasting energy thinking about what other people think.
And you can free yourself up to really focus on building what you want. That's the fun part.
Let's talk about fear. So how do you move forward when you might have conquered the self-doubt, but you are feeling fear? You can be confident on the outside, but on the inside you're a little worried. My big thing is always remembering why you're starting. What is your why? Why do you want to leave your current situation and venture into something new?
Anchor yourself in your why. Have that be what you come back to. [00:08:00] Anytime. Self-doubt or fear creep into the picture. Remember why you're starting. Maybe it's freedom. Maybe it's fulfillment. Maybe it's more financial scalability. Maybe it's family time. Maybe it's creativity. Remember your why, next I want you to use your experience as power. What I mean by that is that you are not starting from scratch. Your experience, even if it's completely different than the business or the second act that you are about to venture into that experience will come with you in one way, shape, or form.
You are building on years of transferable skills.
when I left my corporate role in television to start a business, people had plenty of opinions. Some people, even close friends and family just didn't understand why I was leaving a dream job to start over especially with [00:09:00] two little kids at home.
Some even mentioned that I was taking a step backward, but I did not feel that way, and I knew at that time. And honestly, I can say I don't think I cared what other people were thinking. I didn't have the self-doubt. I did have fear. I had fear of what if this doesn't work out? But personally, I wasn't concerned with other people because I knew this is what I wanted.
It was so deeply rooted in me that I let that drive me, and I think that helped me conquer that fear. Because honestly, I left a very well paying dream job of mine to figure out this business entrepreneurship thing. And as I was doing it, I felt the pressure, I felt the need for this to work out.
And so in my mind and in my heart, there was no. Way. This wasn't working out. I had to hustle. I had to make it [00:10:00] happen,
and every pivot led me closer to the work that eventually fit my life. And if I had let those voices ring louder than mine in my head, I would've stayed where I was because I enjoyed it, because it was safe, it was familiar.
It just didn't fit what I wanted at that stage of my life with a newborn and a toddler. And so I knew that this new second act I was creating was more important to me than anything else.
Okay. I always like to leave you with some practical tips that you can take away and utilize today. So here are a few. If you notice that self-doubt creeping in. Journal those fears away. I truly believe that by writing down your thoughts, they come into reality more. whether it's a journal, whether it's just a post-it note at your desk in the morning, write down your [00:11:00] plan for the day and write down a counter argument to any fears that you might be feeling that morning.
You can also create a wins list. This is also a great way to remind yourself that you are in motion, that things are happening slowly but surely you are working towards your goal. So remind yourself of what you've accomplished so far, or even think back to your skills from your past careers, your past roles, and the successes that you've had and how those are coming with you, how you're bringing those to the table in this new venture.
you can also plan to take one action step. Time and time again. Momentum will kill fear. Every step forward, leads to confidence and more action. One step leads to the other and the next one often becomes easier because of it. So take one action.
Step one, small thing, maybe once a week, [00:12:00] twice a week. Once a day, once a month, whatever works for you, so that you can continue that momentum. And of course, say it out loud. Let them every time the fear of judgment pops up. Use Mel Robbins's words as a mantra. Let them.
Now if you are stuck still feeling that self-doubt, feeling that fear of judgment, I'd love to help. Let me be a resource. That's exactly what I do inside my coaching program. I help women package their experience, reframe that doubt, and
take confident action towards building their dream business.
Check out the details in the show notes below, or go to second act success.co and grab some resources or book some time on my calendar. And let's have a strategy call about how you can get past the fear and start taking actionable steps towards your second act.
All right, my friend. [00:13:00] Here is your reminder. Self-doubt is normal. Worrying about what people think is normal, but it does not have to stop you from reaching your goals. Remember your why. Take small steps and when the outside opinions start creeping in.
Remember, you've got this. Because at the end of the day, it's not about what others think. It's about what you want, what you decide to do with your one precious life. Until next time, keep producing your best life. My friends. I am Shannon Russell, and I will catch you on the next episode. I the second X Success podcast.
Speaker: Thank you for joining me for another episode of the second Act Success podcast. If this episode has you thinking about starting a business or growing the one that you already have, I offer free second ACT strategy calls. This is where we map out what makes sense for your business and your life. You can book yours now at second act [00:14:00] success.co/strategy, or grab the link in the show notes below.
As always, thank you for being here. Until next time, I'm your host Shannon Russell wishing you the best day ahead as you plan your second act. I'll see you on the next episode.